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For example, I could say: "Bad grammar is the leading cause of slow, painful death in North America," or "Without good grammar, the United States would have lost World War II."I argue very well. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent.
People know this, and steer clear of me at parties.
Today's man knows that he's supposed to be a sensitive and caring relationship partner, and he's making radical life-style changes such as sometimes remembering to remove the used tissue wads from his pockets before depositing his pants on the floor to be picked up by the Laundry Fairy.
The human race has been fascinated by sharks for as long as I can remember.
They just opened the satellite door and the dog bounded enthusiastically inside and blasted into space and spent 189 consecutive hours with its nose pressed against the porthole, barking violently at cosmic rays, until finally the Russians couldn't stand it anymore and turned off the radio receiver.Speaking of food, English cuisine has received a lot of unfair criticism over the years, but the truth is that it can be a very pleasant surprise to the connoisseur of severely overcooked livestock organs served in lukewarm puddles of congealed grease. But that is no reason to bypass this beautiful country, whose master chefs have a well-deserved worldwide reputation for trying to trick people into eating snails. Probably a couple of French master chefs were standing around one day, and they found a snail, and one of them said: "I bet that if we called this something like `escargot,' tourists would eat it." Then they had hearty laugh, because "escargot" is the French word for "fat crawling bag of phlegm."Poland has experienced a tremendous amount of history due to the fact that it has no natural defensible borders, which makes it very easy to conquer.England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria. Many times the other nations didn't even mean to invade Poland; one night they'd simply forget to set the parking brakes on their tanks, and they'd wake up the next morning to discover that, whoosh, they had conquered Poland. I'm so used to it that I don't even bother to honk at motorists who almost kill me.If you're apprehensive about flying, let me assure you, as a frequent flier, that few experiences are more enjoyable than being seven miles above the Earth's surface in a crowded aging piece of machinery held aloft by principles of physics that you do not even dimly grasp while giant invisible gravity rays pound relentlessly on the roof.Heres my proposal, which is based on the TV show Survivor: We put the entire Congress on an island.